A Buddhist funeral can be complex and hectic from the perspective of a funeral services provider, but for the bereaved family, it could even be highly shocking and overwhelming. As I was not entrusted with any specific duties to fulfil for the funeral, I was able to observe both parties intently and was able to sieve out some interesting takeaways. 

#1 A funeral wake requires strong coordination between third parties 

Compared to Christian or Catholic funerals, I have come to learn that Buddhist and Taoist funerals are generally more complex logistically, given their ritualistic nature. As such, it appears that the typical set-up usually involves many third parties. As these individuals each have a clear agenda to fulfil, the scene could be rather chaotic as they swiftly fulfil their roles while waiting for the deceased to arrive at the void deck. For this wake, seeing as the family had decided to do away with some standard practices, the procedure leading up to the prayer was rather simplistic. However from what I could see, the third parties still had to work with one another to quickly prepare what was necessary.

#2 A lot of preparation work is needed behind-the-scenes 

For Buddhist Funerals, the deceased’s body and the coffin may come separately. This is because other items have to be added into the coffin before the body could go into the coffin, and because of the Buddhist belief that the coffin should only be opened once. As such, before the deceased and coffin arrive at the void deck, for efficiency’s sake later on, it is important to start preparing these items first. This could be cutting open packets of incense and wood chippings in advance, or asking for a few outfits from the bereaved family. It is also important to note the nature of the items.

I witnessed the importance of having this foresight and preparation work beforehand, as the undertakers managed to set the coffin up in mere minutes subsequently. 

#3 Sequencing procedures are extremely important 

For these rituals, their beauty and complexity appear to lie in the small details. This could come in the form of table arrangements for the offerings, whereby the sequence of how the food items are placed is important. These items would also be used on the final day of the wake, where the eldest son would be offering them to the deceased. With that said, the order whereby offerings are made is also important. The beverage needs to be offered first, followed by the rice, the fruits, then the Chinese fortunate cake and steamed bun. 

This order is also crucial during the encoffining process. As the deceased would be placed in the coffin with his / her outfits, as well as other religious items (i.e. incense, cedar wood, pillow, cotton wool,  yellow blanket and white pearl etc.), it is also important to take note how and when these items are respectively placed into the coffin. What caught my attention the most was actually the white cloth which served as the base of all the layers. After the numerous layers of items and the body were placed into the coffin, the Lotus Blanket was then used to cover the body, tying everything together. From my opinion, this gave the whole ritual a sense of completion, before final touches are added. 

#4 The funeral is for both the dead and living

As much as a funeral is to celebrate and commemorate the deceased, I have come to learn that a lot of effort has to be made when it comes to interacting with the living. Due to the ritualistic nature of the funeral and perhaps also the sudden departure of their loved ones, the bereaved family could be highly confused and sensitive. As such, I feel that us funeral services providers should be more careful, forgiving and attentive when conversing with them. This could be as simple as letting them know what to expect and prepare, or could be as complicated as injecting a personal touch in the services provided. 

Maybe it is because I am new in this line and thus I could still align myself with both the services providers and bereaved family. From my observations, I see how some individuals, perhaps due to them being in this industry for many years, have become desensitised. Their priorities eventually become more slanted towards the deceased, ensuring that the entire procedure flows smoothly. In the process, they may neglect the bereaved family’s feelings and opinions, which would definitely be problematic. As the bereaved family would always be watching as we are working, I think we should keep in mind how our actions may speak to them. I feel that attention should be paid to them too, so as to ensure that this difficult period is not entirely unbearable and painful for them. 

I hope that as I continue to work in this line, I could find and maintain the fine balance between running the funerals efficiently and taking care of the bereaved family. 

Best,

Celine – Your very Dedicated Funeral Intern representing Harmony Funeral Care

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