When I first started working as an Intern at HFC, it was almost three weeks after the circuit breaker had been announced, and the company had just fully adjusted to newer, stricter measures. As I have never witnessed how funerals were being organised previously, these measures naturally became my norm. It was only through conversations with my other colleagues – people who have joined earlier – that I realised the differences these measures had made to funerals. Today, I would like to share some of my findings and observations, and why I see some of these changes as blessings in disguise amidst this global pandemic.

Prior to the circuit breaker, funerals were definitely more fluid, in the sense that there were no restrictions as to how many people could attend the funeral at any one point in time. After stricter measures were introduced, funerals became even more sombre and quiet, as only 10 people were allowed to be present. Even then, social distancing rules still applied. This was definitely difficult to watch, because even during times where some bereaved family members were in inconsolable grief, others could not really come in too close a proximity to give a comforting pat on the back, or a hug. While most of the families were cooperative and socially-conscious, there were definitely instances where families overlooked, or even ignored these guidelines in the midst of their grief. While this is understandable, we often have to step in if the venue gets overwhelmed, because there were always officials patrolling, or surveillance cameras around. As such, while it may seem disrespectful or even intrusive to remind the families to adhere to these measures, it was necessary to ensure that the funerals would not be halted.

While these measures have definitely complicated the way funerals are being organised, some of the additional services we have introduced have helped to make this transition smoother. One such service is the live-streaming of all significant events throughout the funeral, such as the night services, mass services, praying rituals, wakes as well as cremations. If permissible by the bereaved families, these live-streaming sessions would ensure that extended, or even other elderly family members could be a part of the funeral in the safety of their own homes. This also allowed family members who are stuck overseas during this pandemic to pay their final respects and see their dearly departed one last time. In one of these live-streaming sessions that I had facilitated, more than 220 individuals joined the session to attend the night service and paid their final respects. It was an instance when our efforts had proved to bring some relief and comfort to the family and friends of the deceased, and we were particularly heartened.

As I have personally facilitated many of these live-streaming sessions, I am often present to witness and feel the impact of our work. Altogether, I believe that these sessions have added, and will continue to add immense meaning and value to the work I do here at HFC. When I first joined this company, I was particularly looking forward to engaging with bereaved families, as I really wanted to hone my communications skills. However, after working for close to a month, I realised that while a Funeral Director is required to liaise with family members, that is not the most time-consuming aspect. Instead, obtaining permits, liaising with other relevant authorities and personnel as well as procuring the logistics required for the funeral often take up the bulk of our time. However, with the added live-streaming sessions, I was given more opportunities to be with the bereaved families on the ground, to cater to their queries and needs. As I am required to be present while the live-streaming sessions are ongoing, this also gave me the chance to glean the lives of some very beautiful individuals through the stories and testimonies shared about them. Whenever this happened, it was always a deeply powerful experience as I would find myself contemplating the meaning of life over and over again. There were even times when I would leave a service and feel so inspired and encouraged that I would make a mental note to actively change the way I live. In moments like this, my work would seep into my personal life, and I am happier for it.

I hope that as I continue serving bereaved families during these turbulent times, I could also improve, or even conceptualise more ways to help these people process their grief. While the way funerals are being run has definitely changed, I hope that we could continue to ensure that both the needs of the living and dead are being met. On my part, I am looking forward to meeting, helping and most importantly, learning from more bereaved families and their dearly departed.

Till then, your very dedicated Funeral Executive Intern representing Harmony Funeral Care – Celine

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